His mercies are new... every year?

In a perfect world, in which I were a perfect person and had perfect skills and copious amounts of time, this blog post would be organized, exhaustive, spiritually deep, clever, and engaging to read.

Unfortunately, I am not per-... but no, that's not the right word. My true desire is not to be perfect. My true desire is to be so captivated by the God of the universe that His light radiates from my person. Therefore, a rewriting is in order...

Fortunately! I am not perfect, He is, and this blog post - indeed, this entire blog - will attest to that beautiful and glorious fact.

It is late, tomorrow is close at hand, but I wanted to take a moment and welcome the New Year, including the mercies that have yet to be showered upon us, but which are guaranteed. For two reasons! One, that we are sinners, and are therefore absolutely bound to blunder and go astray. Two, that the God we serve is absolutely faithful to save, not merely once, but continually - persistently - every moment, every day, every week, every month... every year. 2012 is no different.

I glory in that reality.

Because blog posts that include a picture are always more exciting. I miss this place.
[not my photo}

"I just want to help."

My job is the craziest, most wonderful, emotional, and rewarding work I could ask for. For those that don't know, I work at Palmer Home for Children (a home-style facility for social orphans), providing transportation to various activities of the kids', whatever else needs attending, and just hanging out with some of the best kids around town. They are precious, and so much fun, but there needs are often overwhelming to me. Emotional instability, anger problems, intense sorrow from their past life (usually inflicted by their own parents). Just yesterday one of them exploded (nearly literally) for a reason unknown to me (he was in another room with his House Dad), but his screams were deafening. I ached for him. It was scary, unnerving. He is 12.

I want to help. I just want to help. But oddly, this job, while providing millions of opportunities to do just that, has inadvertently revealed to me just how very selfish, empty, and ultimately futile our desire to "help" can be. Without the sheer grace of God, that is. I have had to check my motives. Do I want to help this person because they are desperately in need of God's love? Or because I believe that I have some special ability or gift to impact others? Because I need an outlet simply to show off my relational abilities? Because I... can?

So many questions, lessons to learn.

However, despite my true, sinful self - my actual lack of anything sincerely great or noble - I press on. I press on, because God has called me out of darkness. My old self is gone, washed away with the rest of the filthy sin of this world by the blood of Him who died for me. My inability is no excuse to quit persevering, to stop ministering to the saints as well as the lost. Indeed, it's the very knowledge that drives me - God uses weak, sinful humans like me to change the world for His glory. History proves that.

And I couldn't ask for better news than that.

Jayden (5, whom I wrote about previously)